Alone

It's no secret around here how I *love* my alone time. I get my fix every Saturday morning, when I leave Michael in the bed for an hour or so, and I have some quiet time to myself before we start the day. He says he gives me that time, that he just lays there, still.

I know he's sleeping. And I like it.  Because when he is asleep, that's as close as I get to having the house to myself.  And that's okay.

Michael left Thursday for a long weekend with his brother and some other guys.  He will get home LATE tonight.  It's been long enough to really miss him.  I've been productive, though!  I washed the curtains, I changed light bulbs, switch plate covers, I planted azaleas, I cleaned all of the wheelchair scuff marks off the walls (and enjoyed clean walls for 3 days!).

I worked out, and I bathed the dogs, and reorganized my closet, and sewed a button on one of his shirts.

I defrosted the freezer. I scanned pictures I've been meaning to scan for weeks, I labeled pretty much everything in his bathroom and our kitchen cabinets (in the HOPE that the home health aide will read the labels and maybe put things back in the right place). I cooked. I went to the Farmer's Market.

I hung out with some great friends. I watched TV alone (this is a bigger deal that it seems, since my technology advisor was away!).  I slept alone.  I enjoyed the quiet.  I got to live in this house for several days with EVERYTHING in its place, there was great peace and order and I was only interrupted by a barking dog every now and then.  I only had to take care of myself.  It was really easy.

But I missed him.  It really started to hit me yesterday.

I travel frequently for work.  Michael has told me before that the three night trips are the hardest.  Sometimes I'm only gone for one night, most of the time - it's two nights, and sometimes it's three nights.

I have a new appreciation for him holding down the fort alone now. It's easy to find things to do to stay busy, but when the love of your life is missing, you just don't even feel home.

I don't know how military families do it. Hats off to you guys!

Don't get me wrong. I looked forward to this time alone! And I did enjoy it.  I really did enjoy having my fix of alone time.  And I could definitely get used to doing this - say - once a year.

But I also can't wait to pick him up at BWI tonight.  Literally.  Can't wait to scoop him up, put him in my SUV, buckle that seat belt and bring my man home.  It will be really late, and I have to get up early and go to work in the morning, but that's okay.

Because all will be right with the world again.  I am refreshed. He is refreshed.  And we will be together again. And this time next week, we'll be on vacation!!

Now, let's just hope and pray for a speedy wheelchair repair, pronto!  The stupid chair broke the day before Michael left. GRR.  Thank GOD he was going on this trip with his brother, because otherwise, I would have been so worried/stressed out/I would have even driven to upstate NY or wherever the part that he needs to fix the chair was and gotten it myself. But, since M was with Jarred, I could rest and enjoy my alone time, even though my man was rolling along in slow motion on his backup. Because Jarred is awesome, and I love him and trust him completely.

Whatever. I'll worry about that tomorrow. Tonight, I'm going to scoop Michael up and bring him home.  SO glad we went ahead and got married a few years ago, because I DO NOT miss this being in different states thing/airport goodbyes/hellos, etc. So thankful we get to spend so much time together.

No matter how hard it is, sometimes.